For those who have not already heard, the Ohio ABV bill has been reintroduced. Ohio Rep Dan Ramos of the donkey party has proposed legislation that would take the ABV cap from 12 up to 21% on beer. Here is his reasoning, “With other higher-proof options already available on Ohio’s store shelves, often at a cheaper cost to the consumer, this archaic government regulation just doesn’t make sense,” Ramos said. “It needlessly holds back Ohio brewers from having the freedom to experiment with new products, a restriction not faced by brewers in neighboring states.” I know, I know, I was thinking “holy shit what a rational thought from a Govt official” too.
Now I am going to rage a bit on just how ridiculous this bill is since Danny kept it so PC. Though I appreciate the proposed 21% ABV limit, the reality of the situation is that we do not need a cap at all. As Danno points out, I can walk into a bar and order 151 until I am pass out, barf faced, makeout bandit, leg humping hammered. I can buy everclear at my local giant eagle as long as sign a legal document promising it is not for consumption…….. yeah, I know. So why does everyone want to pick on beer?
Because Budweiser. Central Ohio’s producer of chemical laced, rice packed, beer substitute has tried to keep the cap as low as possible to force out competitors. Up until 2002 the ABV cap was 6%. That is not even enough ABV to produce your standard IPA and you can definitely rule out anything imperial. Maybe you want to live in a world where your choices are limited to lagers and bocks, but I sure don’t.
Some of you may be reading this and thinking well that is just good business by Budweiser, but really it is the equivalent of SPAM taking over the meat market and trying to outlaw steak. Bud and Miller barely qualify as beer. Take this into consideration; Rockmill brewery in Lancaster brews Belgian beers because the water profile of the well on their farm land matches the water profile of Wallonia, Belgium. Rockmill brews are full of flavor and are carefully crafted. Bud filters Columbus city water completely pure so that you can’t taste anything and then packs your “beer” full of things that don’t belong in beer. Sure, you can say I am comparing Belgian style beers to Lagers, but I am pretty sure German purity laws would dictate that Bud brewers be tarred and feathered and maybe even forced to give David Hasselhoff a footrub……while KITT watches.
I am so sick of hearing macro drinkers refer to craft beer as that “fancy, weird, expensive stuff”. Would you say that comparing a Big Mac to a Thurman burger? You wouldn’t if you are a sane person. You get what you pay for. You can have a foreign owned, mass produced, chemically altered beer or you can SUPPORT SMALL/LOCAL BUSINESS and drink a hand crafted beer spawned from natural ingredients. You have been conditioned to think macro beer is American beer, but I think you are smarter than that. Next time you are out on the town, order a pint of something brewed here in the Heart of it All and tell Bud to get its sausage fingers out of our congressman’s pockets.
Let’s get drunk and rally on the statehouse steps, or just get drunk, whatever.
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